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Bams' review of
The Adventures Of Pluto Nash


The Adventures Of Pluto Nash (2002)
Rated PG-13; running time 96 minutes
Studio: Warner Bros.
Genre: "Comedy"
Seen at: Celebration Cinema (Lansing, Michigan)
Official site:
IMDB site:
Written by: Neil Cuthbert
Directed by: Ron Underwood
Cast: Eddie Murphy, Randy Quaid, Rosario Dawson, Pam Grier, Joe Pantoliano, Jay Mohr, Peter Boyle, Illeana Douglas, Luis Guzman, James Rebhorn, Burt Young, Miguel A. Nunez Jr., Victor Varnado, John Cleese

Review Copyright Rose Cooper, 2002

(click here to skip to this movie's rating)

I have been accused by some of obsessing overlong with the utter atrocity that is Supernova. I obsess no more. Ladies and gents, I give you the hands-down winner of the 2002 Supernova Memorial "So Bad, It Hurt My Feelings" Award: The Adventures Of Pluto Nash. PEE-YEW!

THE STORY (WARNING: **spoilers contained below**)
Not that it matters, 2080, on a Moon colony known as "Little America", Pluto Nash (Eddie Murphy) buys a bar from his lounge lizard friend Tony (Jay Mohr) and turns the bar into a successful nightclub. So successful, in fact, that it garners the attention of the mysterious gangster and hotel owner, Rex Crater. Crater dispatches his henchmen Morgan (Joe Pantoliano) and Kelp (Victor Varnado) to convince Pluto to sell his club to Crater, but when Pluto refuses, they see to it that Bad Stuff happens to Pluto Nash. And not coincidentally, Bad Stuff happens to the viewing audience: namely, viewing this cockamamie claptrap.

After about, oh, five minutes into the flick, I tried to figure out where exactly Pluto Nash went wrong. I realized that the answer was "as soon as the movie was approved by the studio". I don't see how the Bros Warner could ever come out of the studio again, without ducking their non-existent heads in shame. And this is the first film I've ever seen that had no obvious directing involved. It's as if Eddie decided, "Ok, I'll say this now. Ok, I'll stand here now. Ok, I'll do more stupid shit now.", making it up as he went along - and taking the rest of the cast and crew with him.

Not that I particularly blame this pungent pile on Eddie Murphy. No, there's enough blame to go around for everyone. His co-stars were a waste of space, though some of them tried gamely to make the best out of a doomed situation. But there is a Special Seat In Hell reserved for Randy Quaid. I kept hoping his robot character would short circuit...permanently.

As for the rest, the background music was atrocious. Sure, they tossed an unrelated hip-hop track in here and there (and generally, played way too low to be of any use), but the "sound effects" and other miscellaneous music, were cheesy and distracting. Writer Neil "Story? We don' need no steenkin' story!" Cuthbert needs his butt whupped for daring to hand in such an unfinished assignment. But mostly, Ron Underwood should be made to turn in his Directors Guild card, never to haunt the hallowed Hollywood hills again. I'm sure a savvy cop out there could arrest Underwood for impersonating a skilled professional.

What's saddest about Pluto Nash is that it could've been a halfway decent summer flick, if any of the involved parties had given half a damn about what they were making. But when talent the likes of Joe Pantoliano is reduced to staring at the camera with a pained, "please get me out of this!" look in his eyes, you know there's no escaping it: This Movie Will Suck.

The Adventures Of Pluto Nash is an ugly, dull, tired, humorless, painful experience that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Hmm...on second thought, this flick could be useful as a torture device; though I'm not sure, but I think the Geneva Convention might apply here.

THE "ETHNIC FACTOR"    [ObDisclaimer: They Are Not A Monolith]

I really shouldn't even bother with an Ethnic Factor for this piece of crud movie, but...what the heck. I would have been as irritated as the three other members of our audience (two of them, White) that Luis Guzman, fine character actor as he is, was reduced to your stereotypical Puerto Rican lowrider-driving hoodierat - if this flick was worthy of such irritation. But the red hot burning sensation in my eyes that came from forcing them to stay open, kinda negated my caring much about, well, most anything as far as this putrid mess was concerned. If Pluto Nash was Our only hope for inclusion in mankind's future, then I'd say we should liberally apply Diva's Brotha Rule, wipe it off the face of the universe, and call it a day. Sacrifices must be made.

What the hell were they thinking? Surely it wasn't "Hey, let's make a good movie!", or even "Hey, let's make a movie that won't make people want to nuke this theater so future generations wouldn't forever be scarred by mere in-womb exposure to this dreck!". Surely not.


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And that's the way I see it.

Rose "Bams" Cooper
3BlackChicks Review™
Copyright Rose Cooper, 2002
EMAIL:    ICQ: 7760005

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More 3BlackChicks™ review(s) for this week:
(movies reviewed week of 8/16/02):
Bams' reviews:
The Adventures Of Pluto Nash | Blue Crush

The Diva's reviews:
The Adventures Of Pluto Nash

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