Review Copyright Rose Cooper, 2003

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At one point during Sinbad: Legend Of The Seven Seas, the goddess Eris fitfully exclaims something like, "Enough talking! Let's get on with the screaming!" I'm feelin' ya, sis. THE STORY (WARNING: **spoilers contained below**) Eris (Michelle Pfeiffer) is a bored Goddess of Discord; as she sees it, there's just not enough chaos in the world. But she resolves that quickly by meddling in the affairs of humans. Three humans, in fact: Proteus (Joseph Fiennes), a prince on a mission to deliver the Book of Peace to Syracuse; his betrothed, the lady Marina (Catherine Zeta-Jones), and Sinbad (Brad Pitt), a pirate who used to be friends with Proteus, and is now a vagabond on the open seas. Sinbad tried to relieve Proteus of his treasured Book, but Proteus is no pushover, and fought Sinbad off valiantly. Sinbad, not one to give up, followed Proteus back home. Knowing how important the Book is to Proteus and his people, Eris steals it and frames Sinbad for the theft. In order to return the Book and save Proteus from sure doom, a reluctant Sinbad pursues Eris to the edges of the world - unwittingly taking a passenger with him... THE UPSHOT Aside from the godawful choice to cast Brad Pitt (a Popular Star who, for once, I have nothing against) as the voice of Sinbad, the major problem with this production is that it is fairly flat and lifeless. According to everything I'd read about Sinbad previous to its release, all the Good Stuff has either been edited, or written, out of it. Gone were the multiple Terrifying Monsters. Gone was the "Apple of Discord". What was unsatisfyingly left were Ken-doll Sinbad, a few swinging pirates, a rather naive Proteus (Joseph Fiennes), and the dual Warm Places of Eris, Goddess of Discord, and Marina the firebrand. To be fair, Catherine Zeta-Jones and especially Michelle Pfieffer were great choices for the voices of Marina and Eris (respectively). Their voices were well matched to both of their characters as well as to the story itself. Zeta-Jones voiced the strong-willed Marina very effectively; and Pfieffer has the kind of voice that would make even a het chick tingle...or so I hear (though one has to wonder, what does a goddess need with sex?). Finnes gave credence to the heroic but naive Proteus. And even as much as I laugh at the choice of Pitt as Sinbad, even he didn't do a bad job. To his credit, his decision (I assume) to not try to take on a Arabic accent, lent credibility to a Sinbad who's more bad than good; Sinbad as roguish anti-hero, fit the bill. But all of that is faint praise, because this flick as a whole failed to move the animation lover in me. The hand-drawn characters looked amateurish and dated, and the CGI stuck out like a sore thumb by comparison. None of the secondary characters (no, not even BigWiseBlackDude Kale, played by Dennis Haysbert) registered as anything approaching interesting. And sorry, director Tim Johnson, but endless scenes of swinging pirates, isn't what I call a good use of animation tools. Yes, the snowbird and the Sirens were cool, but they weren't enough. And looking at the writing credit, I shouldn't be surprised how dumb the script was. John Logan (who also wrote Bats and The Time Machine. eww.) should have his Writer's Guild card taken away from him. Forcefully and with a flair. My only hope is that by the time the Obligatory Enhanced DVD comes around, the editing gods will put some of those Terrifying Monsters and the Apple of Discord, back in the mix. One stolen Book of Peace, a few Sirens, and a flimsy, clumsy Love Story, just didn't make the grade. BAMMER'S BOTTOM LINE This Sinbad seemed a mite less than Legendary. I think I need to try to Find Nemo one more time... SINBAD: LEGEND OF THE SEVEN SEAS:   back to top And that's the way I see it. Rose "Bams" Cooper 3BlackChicks Review™ Copyright Rose Cooper, 2003 EMAIL: bams@3blackchicks.com    ICQ: 7760005 http://www.3blackchicks.com/