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The Diva's review of
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

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Viewed at Loews Lewis and Clark
Rated R; running time of 88 minutes
Genre: Horror
Written by: Rob Zombie
Directed by: Rob Zombie
Cast: Sid Haig,Karen Black,Bill Moseley,Michael J. Pollard,Sheri Moon,Jeanne Carmen,Chris Harwick,Tom Towels, Erin Daniels

WARNING - SPOILERS BELOW.

The Digest

Denise (Erin Daniels), Mary (Jennifer Jostyn), Jerry (Chris Hardwick), and Bill (Rainn Wilson) are traveling across country and documenting eclectic places that a tourist must see. As such, the come across Captain Spaulding's Museum of Murder and Madness which also sells gas and fried chicken. They take a tour of the museum that chronicles the lives of various serial killers. One such killer is Dr. Satan. Dr. Satan ran an insane asylum in which he experimented on the patients with the goal of creating a superior race. The patients revolt and hang him, but his body disappears never to be found.

Well this sparks their interest and they want to see the hanging tree. On the way to the tree they pick up a hitchhiker, Baby (Sheri Moon). A flat tire leads causes them to have to stay at the hitchhikers house where they meet her crazy and demented family.

Things go from bad to worse once Mary insults Baby. Now they are on the run for their lives. Can they escape these crazed people or will they meet the fate of the previous 1000 people?

The Dish

PSSSSTTTT. If I have said this once, I've said it a 1000 times - if you stop some place that has up a zillion different "Missing" posters, handle your business then get the hell out of dodge. It's that simple. Having said that, I don't know what the bloody hell I just watched. I read somewhere that MGM and Universal turned down the distribution of this movie because it was violent. Ummm it was no more violent than anything else out there. In fact it was less violent then most of the horror movies I've seen in the last 2 years. It's my opinion that the shied away from it because it SUCKED. It sucked so bad that there was nothing that could be done to fix it. Nothing.

It's not that I didn't get it. I've seen enough horror movies in my life to be able to tell that this was basically an homage to horror movies of the past. Movies where a group of teenagers are traveling alone and stop at a dark house only to find it inhabited by evil. The only difference with this movie was the language was stronger than in the older movies and the older movies were at least scary at some point. It wasn't bad enough that we had to sit through a movie filled with bad acting; bad dialogue; and bad special effects, it wasn't even scary. Oh my lord the plot holes could swallow a blue whale they were so huge. I'm still trying to figure out how they got away with killing people who had families and high positions in the community. Sorry for the spoiler here, but…everyone in town knew that the police officers were going out to the farm to investigate. Didn't it occur to them that someone might eventually begin to miss the police chief?

Oh and I forgot the bizarre way this picture was shot with flashbacks and flashforwards in black and white and color reverse. It was almost as if he was trying out a bunch of cool stuff for his student project.

The Directive

Bottom line is this movie while it may end up being a cult classic, really needs to fade away. I even hesitate recommending that it go to video. Even that is a waste of time and space.

red

I'd rather die a thousand deaths than watch this mess again.


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Copyright Kamal "The Diva" Larsuel-Ulbricht, 2003
EMAIL: thediva@3blackchic ks.com
ICQ: 8690410
http://www.3blackchicks.com/

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More 3BlackChicks™ review(s) for this week:
(movies reviewed 4/11/03):
The Diva's reviews:
House of 1000 Corpses | Anger Management | Drumline DVD

Cass' reviews:
The Quiet American |


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