Review Copyright Rose Cooper, 2000

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"If it's Wednesday..." - Not this time: with Black And White having come out so quickly on the heels of fellow Ghetto Wednesday Release Romeo Must Die, I decided to stage my own mini-protest by not seeing it on opening day last Wednesday - holding out until Friday or later - to do what little I could toward ending the Ghettoization of American movies. But by the looks of this mess, maybe I should've extended my protest indefinitely. THE STORY (WARNING: **spoilers contained below**) Of the more clearly defined roles, this is as near as I can call it: Mike Tyson (as himself) inexplicably hangs around dispensing Wisdom to neighborhood Scarface-wannabe Rich Bower (Power) who himself hangs on the one hand with rapper Cigar (Raekwon), for whom Rich is trying to get a record deal with Arnie Tishman (James Toback, who also wrote and directed B&W), who, of course, doesn't take either Cigar or Power seriously until they come to see him with a White lawyer-type, to whom Arnie laments about thuggish ruggish rappers; and on the other hand, with a group of White kids - chief amongst them Charlie (Bijou Phillips), Charlie's boyfriend Wren (Elijah Wood), their friend Marty King (Eddie Kaye Thomas), and Marty's brother Will (William Lee Scott) - who see themselves, and the Black rappers they hang with, as "niggas". In the friendly, familial sense, of course. [End Sarcasm] But I'm not quite finished: Rich's other pat'na, basketballer Dean (Allan Houston), finds himself in a jam at the hands of both his White anthropology student girlfriend Greta (Claudia Schiffer) and Mark Clear (Ben Stiller), who offered Dean a bribe - and then some. And on top of it all, documentarians Sam Donager (Brooke Shields) and her gay husband (yes, you read right) Terry (Robert Downey, Jr.) follow the self-proclaimed "niggas" around with a video camera, to try to gain some Understanding of just what makes these White kids want to imitate Thug Life. Oy. THE UPSHOT The tone was set early on in the movie; or at least, it could have been: moving from the opening scene of Charlie and her friend Kim (Kim Matulova) being "used" (with their consent) by Rich as stone freeks, to a more staged-feeling scene with Charlie confronting her white-bread, upper-middle-class parents with her "Black" talk, dress, and lifestyle, you get the sense that there something Important was about to be addressed. What would Mommy and Daddy do if they knew what their daughter was doing in the middle of the park just before she came home? Had Toback chosen to stick with this part of the story, or even done a true documentary on the White kids, B&W would've struck a true chord in these times when Black culture - or more precisely, the sub-culture of hip-hop - is co-opted more by middle- and upper-class White youth than by Blacks (many of whom, like Kidada Jones' character Jesse, are trying to get out of the very way of life these White kids strive to emulate). Charlie and her cohorts were the most poignant part of the movie, and truly exploring their stories might have gone a long way towards really getting down to the brass tacks of Black and White life, at least the portion of it represented by those on screen. Instead, Toback chose to take the easy, patronizing way out, by trivializing the White kids, ignoring most of the "Black story" except to (unintentionally) laughably attempt to paint Rich and his crew as mobster-lite thugs, and by inexplicably casting "names" such as Brooke Shields, Ben Stiller, and Claudia Schiffer, in roles that were downright painful to watch. Shields was good in The Bachelor as a high-society type played full-bore; here, she just looks damned goofy in pseudo-dreadlocks and nose ring, which works against her attempt to come across as an outsider only minimally trying to be accepted. Half-stepping on her part just didn't work; her character should've either been all the way Down, or woefully short of the mark. Stiller, obviously slumming, was just as wasted; his character's entire subplot could've been jettisoned, to no ill-effect, taking Dean and Greta down the drain with him. And every time Schiffer opened her mouth, I wanted to slap it shut; her mere presence offended me in a way that's only understandable when you hear her character's ridiculous advice to Dean - "just be who you are" - not to mention her scene with Stiller. It grinds my gizzards just to think about that tripe again. There were surprises to be found, however, pleasant and unpleasant. On the down side, I felt sorry for Joe Pantoliano, as District Attorney (and Will and Marty's father) Bill King; throughout his excruciating scene with Stiller, "Joey Pants" looked like he was looking for the quickest exit out of this flick. On the up side was a triple threat: I never thought I'd say this, but Mike Tyson has a future in acting, even if it's just acting as himself. As he did in Wonder Boys recently, Robert Downey Jr. continues to rise above poor material given to him. And as hoodie-rat Charlie, Bijou Phillips stole the show; full of the gruff and bravado that Power should have been displaying, Phillips' Charlie was the one character who remained consistently worth watching throughout this movie. Three decent performances out of a movie of tens of bad ones, though, is never A Good Thing. THE "BLACK FACTOR"    [ObDisclaimer: We Are Not A Monolith] I'll set my own intolerance of the ignorance behind propping oneself and ones friends up as "niggas", aside for a second. Above and beyond that, the true shame of this film is that Toback didn't listen to his own words, said through his characters Charlie, Cigar, and Dean: Charlie spoke of wanting to be something other than she was, but realized that it was probably "just a phase" that she'd grow out of; Cigar complained about being treated by the White kids as "animals on display" (as did Tyson, of Sam); and Dean, in a reasonable voice just before his character went stoopid, told Real Truth about Whites and Blacks (paraphrased): "there's no one single type of 'Black' or 'White' person; we're all different". And I'll go out on a limb here by saying that Toback needs to get a real education in Ghetto Life before attempting something like this again. A good schoolin' might lead him to ask the tough questions of his mimicking White kiddlet characters, like, "Do you also imitate the fellas when they're pressed for Driving/Shopping/Breathing While Black?", or "How quickly do you pick yourself up off the ground after you're slapped upside the head by the first Black person who doesn't take too kindly to your liberal use of the term 'niggas'?". Inquiring minds want to know, Mr. Toback; were you too caught up with the hip-hop banter to do more than treat your characters as displays in a zoo? Maybe it's Just Me, but I'm thinking that those sentiments could be made into a good film. Toback, unfortunately, doesn't seem to be up to the task. John Singleton, anyone? BAMMER'S BOTTOM LINE If you just must see Black And White - and I'm sure there will be more than a few of you who just must - don't go into it expecting to Learn anything, save this: knuckleheads come in all colors. But you knew that already, eh? BLACK AND WHITE:   back to top And that's the way I see it. Rose "Bams" Cooper 3BlackChicks Review™ Copyright Rose Cooper, 2000 EMAIL: bams@3blackchicks.com    ICQ: 7760005 http://www.3blackchicks.com/