Remember back when Helen Fielding's novel Bridget Jones's Diary was all the rage? Not only didn't I get it, I didn't Get It. Still don't. THE STORY (WARNING: **spoilers contained below**) When her mother Pamela (Gemma Jones) steers Bridget Jones (Renee Zellweger) toward Yet Another disastrous hookup - this time with barrister and mama's boy Mark Darcy (Colin Firth), to whom Bridget takes an immediate dislike (and vice-versa) - Bridget decides to take action to change her life. She starts by keeping a diary ["Bridget Jones' Diary", my how clever!] in which she honestly notes all of her bad habits and life-affectations, including noting her weight, her smoking jones, her tendency to drink, and most of all, her potentially hazardous fantasy life. The object of her fantasy? Daniel Cleaver, Bridget's boss at the publishing firm in which they both work [it'd never happen here in the States. Can you spell "s-e-x-u-a-l h-a-r-a-s-s-m-e-n-t l-a-w-s-u-i-t"? I knew you could!] Bridget's circle of friends includes her girlfriends Jude (Shirley Henderson) and Shazzer (Sally Phillips), and gay friend Tom (James Callis), all of whom Bridget can count on for sisterly support, especially when she gets caught up in a triangle involving Daniel, Mark, and Mark's pseudo-girlfriend Natasha (Embeth Davidtz). Meanwhile, Bridget's mum Pam has a little surprise of her own for her husband Colin (Jim Broadbent). And, as often happens at times like this...wackiness ensues. THE UPSHOT Four quick things Bridget Jones's Diary, which'll pretty much wrap up this brief-for-me review in a shiny little bow: I don't Get these kinds of movies, primarily because I've never been a Bridget Jones kinda Chick - having married, and stayed with, the first man who swept me off my feet at 18. Some twenty years ago. Tell me true: do womyn like this really exist? If so, remind me to never be one; For all the hype about said Diary, wherethell was it for most of the movie? It peeked out in an early Zellweger/Grant scene, but was soon tossed aside like a red-haired stepchild, until the Crucial Climatic Moment. With little else of note going on, I might've been more interested in reading it than in watching it in absentia; (ObRacialGenerality) White Girls kill me with their definition of "overweight". Ditto, "spinster"; That Huge...er, Hugh Grant was tolerable for once, was about the biggest shock, and entertainment value, that I got from Bridget Jones's Diary. Mebbe because he wasn't spending all his screen time playing the Fish Out Of English Water buffoon that he usually plays in American flicks. As for the rest, I spent most of the movie going, "huh"? [in between my "WTF?" moments], mostly when Yet Another character was introduced seemingly only to provide movement from one plot point to another. I don't think there was a single believable bit of character development to be found in this flick's reels [though as the wife of a James Bond nut, I did appreciate the pun involving actress Honor Blackman]. But for what it's worth, Texas' own Renee Zellweger (for whom I have a grudging admiration), did ok with that English accent. And what's up with Brits being upset her for that, anyway? We gave them Michael Caine in Cider House Rules, did we not? [/end sarcasm] THE "BLACK FACTOR"    [ObDisclaimer: We Are Not A Monolith] I may be stretching it here [and when did that ever stop me?], but I sensed the same First Wives Club to Waiting To Exhale continuum going on in Bridget Jones's Diary. Except, Mz. Jones doesn't strike me as the kind of Liberated Chick who'd go out and Be Every Womyn (whilst spending her Oppressor's paycheck), or the kind of I-Don'-Need-No-Man Sista who'd blame every Man in existence who doesn't conform to her rigid checklist of qualifying attributes. No, Bridget'd sit at home with Ben & Jerry, and tie one on. Wimp. Bammer's Bottom Line "Bridget" is what you get when grown women spend too much time writing diaries, and not enough time living outside of them. Me, I just don't get the hype. Oh, and for all you Bridget Jones' types who'll want to crucify me for my cavalier attitude about your Plight? Bah; just go out and get laid. BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY: And may I just say how much that extra "'s", bugs me? back to top And that's the way I see it. Rose "Bams" Cooper 3BlackChicks Review™ Copyright Rose Cooper, 2001 EMAIL: bams@3blackchicks.com    ICQ: 7760005 http://www.3blackchicks.com/