Imagine Love Story meets ABC's Dharma & Greg, and you'll know all you need to know about Sweet November. Literally. The Story (WARNING: **spoilers contained below**) Nelson Moss (Keanu Reeves) is a high-strung, highly successful advertising executive with no time for a life outside of his job, much to the dismay of his constantly ignored girlfriend Angelica (Lauren Graham). But Nelson's life quickly changes when, after he causes Sara Deever (Charlize Theron) to flunk her DMV exam, she storms into his life in a big way. Like a whirlwind gone mad, Sara goes on a mission to "save" the stodgy Nelson from himself, by proposing that, for the whole month of November, he stays with her and in exchange, she'll "help him". How, and why, is for Nelson to discover in what Sara promises to be a magical thirty days. The Upshot (2nd WARNING: **EVEN MORE spoilers contained below**) KeanuNuts, y'all might as well get your brickbats out now, 'cuz I tell ya, he stunk up the joint. Whoever decided to call it "Sweet" wasn't quite descriptive enough. "Sickly sweet"...now that's more like it. I don't know what was worse: the absolutely, positively mindboggling [in case the KeanuDroids didn't hear me the first time] miscasting of Keanu "whoa" Reeves, or the complete repulsion I felt in noting Greg Germann's irritating presence in not one, but two lame remake flicks this weekend ("November" and the equally dreadful Down To Earth). That, and the syrupy sweetness of the general storyline. Holy Chris on a pogo stick, I think I developed a severe case of sugar diabetes just watching this thing. Two things saved "November" from my "this-must-die-an-excruciatingly-horrible-death" redlight rating: the first is my inexplicable liking for things Charlize Theron; must be her eyes (what can I say; they mesmerize me) and the button cuteness her character showed up to the BEGIN BIG SPOILER first Obligatory Illness Scene - each moment after which, was sheer torture for me to witness, in anticipation of Love Story, Brian's Song, and Stupornova, all rolled up into one smarmy little ball. END BIG SPOILER The other little slice of heaven hiding in "November's" Deep Dish Of Hell, was Frank Langella as Edgar Price (who, keeping with the Dhama & Greg/ABC theme, is "November's" version of Miles Drentell from Once & Again and thirtysomething - if Miles Drentell had an Evil Twin Brother). For the few moments he was on screen, Langella portrayed a totally heartless businessman with an originality worthy of adoration; had his role been expanded, "November" would've been a much different movie experience for me. My jury's out whether that would've wound up A Good Thing, though; I have the feeling that more Edgar Price would've amounted to that much more artificial sweetener being poured on to counterbalance his Pure Evol. And that would most def be A Bad Thing. Sorry, that's it as far as worthwhile characters/storylines go. I've seen the "Hip Gay/TV Friend" done better before, so Jason Isaacs' turn as Transvestite Chas, didn't really Take Me There; and Liam Aiken as Abner, the boy searching for a Father Figure, was kinda creepy. That leaves us with the aforementioned irritant Greg Germann as Nelson's sycophant business partner Vince, and my friend and yours, the K Man himself. So as not to taunt the KeanuWorshippers overmuch, I won't go into vast detail of the many times I wanted to rip his lungs out and serve them to Hannibal Lecter, just so his GOTdam agent wouldn't dare stain the silver screen again by allowing him to be so terribly miscast in a role that, if it were any more past his reach as an actor, he'd have to hire someone with an extension cord and a ten foot pole, just to come within a football field's length of touching. [Well, not too vast, anyway.] Bammer's Bottom Line Not that he needs my approval or anything - I'm fairly sure Mr. Reeves isn't sitting at home pissing in his beer because some third-rate hack in Podunkville Called Him Names - but I actually do like Keanu in roles in which he plays to the level of his abilities. I very much dug him in The Matrix, for example; and he was one of the better things about the disappointing (and still unreviewed by me) The Gift. But I say now, and will repeat again: whatever the casting person who thought Reeves was right for this role, was smoking when they cast him, I don't want any parts of. "Sweet November": "Dancing In September"..."Sweet November"...dag, is it Spring yet?!? back to top And that's the way I see it. Rose "Bams" Cooper 3BlackChicks Enterprises™ Copyright Rose Cooper, 2001 EMAIL: bams@3blackchicks.com    ICQ: 7760005 http://www.3blackchicks.com/ http://www.evenbetter.com/?partner=1987

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