The Diva's
"Scary Movie 2" Review

WARNING - SPOILERS BELOW.

This is the review I wrote for Scary Movie last year:

I've been thinking about how to tone this down a bit and not hit you over the head with my opinion. But you know what? Forget that. I can not live with myself if I didn't tell you how I felt about this movie.

Remember when Bill Murray was slimed in Ghostbusters? Remember the feeling of having icky green gooey stuff covering you from head to toe? That's how I felt about Scary Movie. I felt totally slimed. I wanted to take a shower afterwards. I wanted my money back, except I didn't pay to see it. I wanted those two hours back. Two hours I could have spent pulling chin hairs or watching paint dry. You know, something fun.

There was not a single redeeming quality in this entire film. Not one. I've never, (y'all here me?) ever watched a "comedy" and not cracked a smile once. Never. I was so unimpressed. Even the "funny" scenes were no longer funny because I saw all of them 120 times on commercials and trailers. Oh some folks will like it, I'm sure; and I know I'll hear from them. But I'm sorry; I have better things to do than watch a bunch of lame and very unfunny sex jokes. I have better things to do than watch Marlon Wayans play a smoked out weed-head. Hell, if I want to watch a crack head for 2 hours, I can go have dinner downtown across the street from the greyhound station.

Next Friday was more amusing. And y'all know how I felt about that masterpiece.

I'm not even going to do my customary synopsis of the film. I don't want to re-live that violation. Trust me on this. Save your money and your time. You'll have more fun watching grass grow.

What has changed? Almost not a damn thing. This time, I managed to giggle a few times. The Charlie's Angels parody was very amusing and I was cracking up at the parody on the Nike basketball commercial. The continuity errors that were there on purpose were pretty funny as was Andy Richter. That was it. Once again people walked out and once again I went home and took a shower. I've been slimed again.

The scary part is that a sequel was made.