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The Diva's
"Superstar" Review

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First of all, I've had 2 hours of sleep in the last 24 hours. I left my umbrella at home and got rained on and y'all know sugar melts. I broke one of my nails. I ruined my black suede pumps when one of the heels got caught in a grate and THEN I saw "Superstar". All this drama today and I ended up seeing that crap. Children. Your mission should you choose it; is to bring me the head of Lorne Michaels for allowing this movie to be made. And the kicker? People, especially kids, loved this movie. They were cracking up.

I've been watching SNL since it debuted in '74 or '75. I was about 5 at the time and my step-father would come sneak me out of bed to watch it with him. I'll never understand why they choose the skits they do to make into feature length movies. It boggles the mind. Some are good, but the others just plain stink. Including "Superstar". I like the Mary Katherine Gallagher skits, but not enough to watch her for 90 mins. And to top it all off, she had the audacity...the unmitigated gall ..the nerve to sing *my* favorite song from the movie "Fame"- "Out Here On My Own". I'm so unbelievably through. Nothing is sacred anymore. First they frisk Diana "Boss" Ross. Now this. What is a Diva to do? I haven't been this through since Whitney Houston lost her mind and married that Bobby " I should have never left New Edition" Brown.

Okay here's the scoop.

Mary Katherine has one dream in life and that is to be French kissed. She decides that the only to accomplish this is to become a Superstar. So she makes it her life's mission to do so.

This entails auditioning for the school talent show in which the winner will get a part as an extra on a film.

That's the entire film, folks. There are the jocks and the geeks. There is a misunderstood rebel. Same old same. Nothing remarkable at all. Nothing worth mentioning at all.

You might get a kick out her licking trees and stop signs, but I wasn't impressed. If you want to impress me lick a pole in the winter. This movie could have been a 15 minute skit on SNL and I would have been more than thrilled.

Avoid this movie like the plague. Wait until it comes on TBS one Sunday afternoon and even then don't watch it unless you can't change the channel.


Bikini waxing and pulling chin hairs is much more enjoyable.

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Copyright Kamal "The Diva" Larsuel-Ulbricht, 1999
EMAIL: thediva@3blackchicks.com
ICQ: 8690410

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More 3 Black Chicks...(tm) review(s) for this week:
(movies released on 10/8/99):

Bams' reviews:
"Random Hearts"

The Diva's reviews:

(sneak preview movies; due to be released 10/15/99):

The Diva's reviews:
"The Story Of Us" | "The Straight Story"

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