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Parker (2013) Reviewed By Jay

United States, 24 January 2013

 

Jay´s Review

Here we have a professional thief with a code of ethics, left for dead by his colleagues (minus his share of the take), and now he's MAD. (It's not the money, it's the principal!) This is a series of heists, each one planned to the nth degree and carried out with cold-blooded precision.

This R-rated thriller only pauses occasionally to introduce another character and maybe have a few laughs. We dash from a state fair (where our hero is a priest!), to Florida where he poses as an Ecuadorean-born Texan. You're gonna have to trust me on that! There are also some nice scenes with a farm couple and with a hospital patient.

We see:

  • * Jason Statham ("Safe") Guess who plays the title role? He is beaten, shot, stabbed, and choked, but this dependable old Timex just keeps on ticking...
  • * Jennifer Lopez ("The Back-up Plan") seems to be in this just to provide occasional squeals of fear, tears of frustration over her recent divorce and groans of exasperation about her soap opera-watching mom.
  • * Patti Lupone ("30 Rock" on TV) almost steals the show in her few scenes. Between her and her darling little dog (maybe a Papillon?) she makes us laugh out loud!
  • * Michael Chiklis ("Vegas" on TV) is the head thug who betrays our hero. This guy is mean!
  • * Nick Nolte ("Gangster Squad") is a quasi father-in-law. No, our hero isn't married, but almost!
  • * Emma Booth ("The Boys are Back") is resourceful and loving as the nurse/lover our hero seems to need on a regular basis.
  • * Bobby Canavale ("Boardwalk Empire" on TV) is the sweet Palm Beach cop who has it bad for Ms. Lopez.

With Jennifer Lopez in the cast, we KNOW they will exploit her physical attributes... smile ...which they DO! In addition, expect lots of gunfire, ferocious fisticuffs, stabbings, blood, blood and blood. We always know how a Jason Statham movie will end, but it's always lots of fun getting there. They have a particularly good fight choreographer in this one; the fights are remarkable.

Don't leave too soon. We thoroughly enjoyed the afterthoughts.

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