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The DIva's Review of Armored (2009)


The Diva's review of
Armored (2009)


Rated ; running time of 1 hour and 28 minutes
Genre: Thriller
Written by: James V. Simpson
Directed by: Nimród Antal
Cast: Columbus Short, Matt Dillon, Laurence Fishburne, Skeet Ulrich, Milo Ventimiglia, Jean Reno, Amaury Nolasco, Fred Ward
Release Date: 12/04/09


The Digest


Iraqi War veteran Ty (Columbus Short) has come home to raise his little brother Jimmy (Andre Kinney). after the tragic death of his parents. Needing a job he signs on with his and Jimmy's godfather, Mike Cochrane (Matt Dillon) to for the same armored car company for which his father worked. After some hazing, Ty finds himself fitting right in with Mike and the team. Beside Mike, there is the very temperamental Baines (Laurence Fishburne), Quinn (Jean Reno), Dobbs (Skeet Ulrich), and Palmer (Amaury Nolasco). Well almost fitting in… the team wants to stage a $42 million heist. Ty wants no part of it - until he is faced with a mortgage and the threat of his brother going in to system due to behavior problems. Ty feels like he has no choice, but he holds off a little longer until he is promised that no one will be hurt. The refine the plan and hope to convince everyone that they get car-jacked.

But things go wrong go horrible wrong with the safe location they have chosen to hide the money is actually now being inhabited by a homeless man who witnesses everything. In an effort to keep a lid on it the man is accidentally killed, which was the deal breaker for Ty. Now he turns on them, but can her make it out alive? It’s 1 against 5 and to make matters even more difficult, Ty is responsible for keeping another unexpected guest alive

The Dish

Laurence Fishburne, Jean Reno, Matt Dillion… what could possibly go wrong? Armored is what can go wrong. What a big huge disappointment. It’s movies like this that make me want to throw popcorn at the screen. Was it a horrible movie? No. Was it a horrible movie given the talent that was assembled? Absolutely. The good thing is it gave Columbus Short some room to spread his wings, once again. He is building up quite a resume even though his pictures haven’t been the most successful (including one of my favorites “Cadillac Records”) He is being trusted to care more and more and he is carving out a spot for himself in Hollywood. He is also proving himself to be an everyman. We just need him cast in a Rom-Com and I think he has covered everything. But this isn’t a gushy article on Columbus Short. This is about “Armored” The primise isn’t bad. The acting wasn’t *that* bad. Laurence Fishburne was completely over the top and Jean Reno was used as window dressing. But beyond that, no one was horrible. I’m thinking that the Director just dialed this one in. It’s almost if he wanted to build a movie around a few chances to blow up a few things.

The Directive

Catch it on cable.

3BC Ratings

yellow light


You'd have to put me in a lock box to see it again.

Copyright Kamal "The Diva" Larsuel-Ulbricht, 2009
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